Lights! Camera! Stank!
by Jet556
Summary: Norrisville High is making a movie. Randy auditions for the part of the Ninja. So do Bash and Howard. Chaos ensues. Filming begins. The director of the movie, Ken Finlayson, ends up letting the power to go to his head. What's he do? He ends up becoming petty and cruel and treats Randy's co-star Theresa Fowler like dirt. The funny thing is that Ken is the person who ends up stanked
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my new Randy Cunningham story. Enjoy and send ideas you might have through personal messages.**

**Auditions**

The line for auditions seemed to go a mile. Randy was waiting in line Howard was waiting in line Heidi was waiting in line Bash was waiting in line. Why was there a line? Because the person directing a movie for Norrisville High was putting those auditioning for parts in alphabetical order! Who was the person directing? The Freak of Freaks, the King of the Deformed the Emperor of the Disfigured the Sovereign of Ugly: Ken Finlayson!

The movie was called "Norrisville in the Stratosphere." If that didn't say 1960's comic book based cartoon ridiculous then what did?

What was the plot?

A mad scientist known as Dr. Assassination takes control of a nuclear reactor and uses to create an anti-gravity field that lifts the entire city of Norrisville into the stratosphere, holding it ransom for 100 million dollars, the reactor and amnesty. Kenneth Baker, the Ninja, reluctantly breaks his date to Mary Mac to save the city before Dr. Assassination sends it crashing down. There radiation weakens the Ninja but he is able to regain enough to strength to defeat Dr. Assassination.

That was the plot. It was as ridiculous as it got!

Randy was hoping to get the role of the Ninja. He was already the Ninja so playing the Ninja would be easy! Plus he'd get some good romantic scenes with Theresa Fowler if she got the part of Mary Mac. But knowing Ken he'd probably pair him with Flute Girl!

Then the auditions began! Then they got to the C's and Randy was called in. Sitting in a chair like a frog on a log, Ken Finlayson stared at Randy.

Ken was wearing glasses with removable sunglasses lens. His right eye was bulging, his right hand had only three fingers, his white hair, his brown eyes, his face looked like it was covered in an acid scar but really he was just born that way, he was freakish in appearance. The rest of his appearance was better left undescribed!

"Okay, who are you auditioning for, Randy?" Ken was speaking with a German accent. Why was he speaking in a German accent? He usually spoke in a Southern accent despite being from Canada so he should have an accent like Randy or any other person in Norrisville so why was Ken speaking in a German accent?

"Uh, the Ninja…"

"You're our Ninja!" Ken just waved Randy away.

Randy was confused. Had McFist hypnotized Ken? Was Ken to choose the first person to audition for the Ninja? But wait! Randy couldn't have been the first person to play the Ninja. Had Ken recognized Randy as the Ninja? He must have! Ken was too smart! Randy would have to start using a different voice as the Ninja.

Then Bash came in once they got to the J's. "I'm auditioning for da Ninja!"

"Okay, you're our Ninja!" Ken was speaking in an Irish accent. Bash didn't even notice. He just walked out and cheered.

"I'M THE NINJA!" This left Randy shocked! Absolutely shocked! Had Ken changed his mind?

Then after much waiting for the W's, Heidi walked into the gym and there sitting was Ken. He was smiling. "There is my co-director!" Ken was speaking in his normal accent. His southern accent, which made no sense since Ken was Canadian and they sounded no different than anyone in Norrisville.

Being called "co-director" just caused Heidi to smile. "Co-director? I like the sound of that!" Then the smile vanished. "Ken, Bash wasn't really your decision for the Ninja is he?"

"Oh, of course not. Candy, Bash and your brother will just fight it out."

Heidi then walked over to Ken and sat on his lap. The bulge in Ken's right eye vanished and for that one moment he looked almost normal, not freakish. Then she put a hand on his shoulder. "Ken, honey…" She was talking slowly. "Bash will kill them!"

"Not if I cheat, gentle nymph!"

"'Gentle nymph?' Have you ever used that before?"

"Actually, I have not!" Ken moved in to kiss Heidi only for her to leave him. He sighed and looked at the list. It was time for Howard to come in. He had used a German accent for Randy, an Irish accent for Bash, so which accent would he use for Howard?

Ken picked up his list of accent and closed his eyes. He'd choose randomly! He brought down his finger on Outer Mongolian. That was easier: one third Scottish, one third Italian, one third Danish.

Howard walked in. Ken asked him what role he was auditioning for. Howard told him that he was auditioning for the Ninja. Ken then told Howard that he was their Ninja.


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome. Enjoy.**

**Last Man Standing**

Ken and Howard both walked out of the gym. There was a sly grin on Ken's face. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have three candidates for the ninja! Randy Cunningham, Bash Johnson and Howard Weinerham." Randy's jaw dropped. Candidates? What was Ken up to? Was he planning something? "There is only way to decide who shall play the Ninja!" It was coming! "They must fight it out!" Randy couldn't believe it. How could Ken have had something so diabolical planned? "Whoever is the least bloodied up will be the Ninja, whoever is the most bloodied up will be Dr. Assassination."

Bash's head turned and his eyes fell upon Randy. He turned his head again and his eyes fell upon Howard. Decisions, decisions, which one, which one… Howard. He'd beat Howard first!

Bash ran at Howard and tackled into him! The two ended up crashing into some lockers. Ken just ended up clapping.

Heidi turned her head to look at Ken. "You do remember that's my brother, right?"

"Relax, Heidi. It won't be that bad." Ken then looked over at Randy. "I'll have my Ninja, my Dr. Assassination and my bloodied up henchman!"

Thankfully, Howard wasn't too bloodied up. He was just knocked unconscious and ended up drifting into dreams about an uncle acting like a turkey.

Then Bash ended up chasing Randy. There was nothing Randy could do but run. It was like a Labrador chasing after a rabbit!

The chase went on for about ten minutes until Ken showed up. He stuck his foot out in front of Bash and that was that. Randy would be the Ninja.

"What the juice, Ken!" Randy walked up to Ken. He was less than impressed. "Are you crazy?"

"Parish the thought, you are always the person I had in mind for the Ninja." There was something about the tone of Ken's voice. It was almost as if he knew Randy was the Ninja but he couldn't have known! Could he?


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome back everyone. Sorry, I didn't update yesterday but I wasn't feeling too well. Anyway we return to our regular program.**

**Costumes**

Randy ran into the gym. People were in costumes already. Ken was sitting in a corner with a maniacal glint in his eye that didn't have a tic. From that angle he could see the whole gym.

How could Ken have known that Randy was the Ninja? Did he recognize Randy's eye color? Randy's voice? The shape of Randy's body? Of course, this was al assuming he did know that Randy was the Ninja. If he didn't then Ken was just really persistent to have a specific guy for the Ninja and another specific guy for Dr. Assassination.

Howard was Dr. Assassination… bizarrely the costume didn't look much different from Viceroy's wardrobe except for the coloration. It was completely white, even the wig was white.

Then Randy walked over to the costumes for Kenneth Baker, the Ninja of the 60's… if that was really the name of a Ninja of the 60's. The civilian clothes made Randy look like Cary Grant and the Ninja Costume was red and blue instead of black and red. The civilian clothes were okay, even today that long deceased Cary Grant was held in great reverence for being handsome and athletic. But the Ninja costume! It was all wrong! Those colors! It made him look like a Spider-man knock-off!

The Mary Mac costume Theresa was wearing made her look like Bette Davis, that old movie actress that Randy's mom had a whole shelf of movies of.

And then there was Bash he was… Randy wasn't sure what Bash was supposed to be: a half-shaved gorilla maybe? His costume was just weird looking.

Randy walked over to Howard. He had to tell Howard about his suspicions of Ken knowing he was the Ninja!

"Okay, Howard, don't tell anybody but I think Ken knows I'm the Ninja!" Randy sounded really panicky whispering that to Howard.

"Cunningham, I don't have time for this. You know we have to do the movie in a day and I want to be as Bruce as possible!" Randy couldn't believe this. Since when did Howard act like this? Did Ken hypnotize him or something? But then again they only had one day to do this movie and there would be no retakes doing well in one take was very important. "And how could Ken figure out you're the Ninja? He's a crazy shoob, just look at the tic in his eye!"

"Actually, I think he might have pink eye." And then Ken walked on over. Randy backed away when he noticed that his right eye seemed bigger than usual. That was quite the tic!

"Randy!" Ken seemed less than happy about Randy and Howard talking to one another. Randy knew it! Ken knew he was the Ninja! He must have been trying to figure out a way to the Ninja mask! "Why are you talking to Howard? You don't have any early scenes with him! All of your early scenes are with Theresa Fowler! Now go spend time with her! Not this!" Ken pointed his less disfigured finger at Howard.

Howard just smiled. "Hey! You didn't call me a fat tub of lard! Thank you so much!"

"Shut up, you fat tub of lard!" And then Howard's smile vanished. His smile didn't turn into a frown it turned into that strange expression between smile and frown. Ken then turned his head, like an owl, and looked at Howard. "And you! Go over to Bash, all of your early scenes are with him so there better be some good non-romantic chemistry between the two of you!" Randy and Howard obeyed and walked towards their respective targets. For some reason, Ken seemed to look less human when he was yelling at them. They could have been imagining since Ken's deformity was rather monstrous looking.


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome back everyone. This chapter shall feature a shout out to a piece of Randy/Theresa fan art on tumblr. Enjoy and review.**

**Everyone's Favorite Past Time**

Ken had become a jerk real quickly. This resulted in everyone ending up with a favorite past time. What was it? Making fun of Ken behind his back.

Of course Randy didn't make fun of Ken, the last thing he'd need was a stanked Ken Finlayson on his hands. Who knew how unspeakably ugly that would be! As for Theresa she was just too scared of Ken to make fun of him. She had been there when he had gone nuts while buying eye drops. Theresa was convinced that Ken was off his rocker! For all she knew Ken could have been crazy.

So while everyone else made fun of Ken behind his back, Randy and Theresa did not. What were they doing instead of making fun of Ken behind is back? Well, Randy was flirting with Theresa.

"You know, I play the keytar." It was quite possibly the only instrument Randy could play besides the triangle. If Randy were trying to get a date he'd be better off just asking if she'd like to go out with him.

"Really?" Theresa's question was an obvious one. However she actually seemed interested any other girl would have been uninterested.

"Yeah, it's like playing the guitar and piano at the same time." Randy was acting like an idiot. How Theresa could like him was such a gosh darn boggling question.

"Wow." How could Theresa have found that interesting? She was actually interested. She wasn't being sarcastic or anything! How in the name of the green earth could she have been interested?

"I know, I'm so talented." And now Randy was blowing his own horn. Still Theresa didn't think he was an idiot.

Ken couldn't believe this. He was standing just out of sight watching them. While everyone made fun of him behind his back, not even aware he was present and knew what they were saying about him.

But here were two who were not making fun of him behind his back. They seemed to be… No, it couldn't be! They just could not be! Why a guy would have any interest in a baton twirler was beyond him! Why any girl would have any interest in someone like Randy was equally beyond him.

They were just getting into character! Yes, that was it. They did not 'like' each other in any way. They were only getting into character. Nothing more, nothing less.


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Filming Began**

Ken sat in the director's chair. He was completely bored. As he held a stick in his right hand and watched Randy and Theresa reciting their lines as the camera recorded it, Ken couldn't help but wonder if things would be better if the movie had been about something that wasn't the Ninja! His eyes were half closed and thoughts of the Shakespeare play "Troilus and Cressida" danced around his head.

Ken's eyes were on Randy. "Blah, blah, blah!" That was all that Ken was hearing. This boring!

Ken's eyes were then on Theresa. "Blah, blah, blah!" Still that was all that Ken was hearing. This was very boring!

When the scene was over, Ken walked over to the ice tea bowl and poured himself a cup. He quickly gulped it down and then walked over to Theresa with his stick in hand. "Theresa, what are you playing?" He hit Theresa's right hand with his stick. "You're supposed to be playing excited." Ken hit Theresa's hand again. "You know what I'm playing?" Again he hit her hand. "I'm playing bored." Once more he hit her hand. "If the director is bored then the audience will be bored too!" Once more he hit her hand. "Pull up your socks!" One last time Ken hit Theresa's hand. Ken hadn't exactly been quiet. He had not been using an indoor voice and everyone had been watching him hit Theresa's hand with the stick. Even worse spit had gone flying from Ken's mouth into Theresa's face.

Heidi was not impressed. Neither was anyone else. Sure Howard had been cruel as the Mean Judge but he had never gone so far as to hit anyone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Something Completely Unexpected**

Ken was really not in the wrong. Randy and Theresa couldn't even act to the point that he, the director, was bored to tears. Was he insane? Even a mentally idiotic person wouldn't have cast Randy and Theresa in the lead roles! Even George Lucas, the master of filmmaking who always created masterpieces, wouldn't have cast these two in a movie. Not even in a minor or uncredited role! Lucas! Scorsese! Spielberg! Coppola! They were all great masters who always made masterpieces! They never would have made such a blunder! Ken was like Ed Wood! The Blunder Master!

What was Ken doing right now? Looking at his reflection in the bathroom mirror while growing more and more frustrated. He wasn't angry at Randy and Theresa for being boring, he was angry at himself for casting them.

As Ken stood there looking at his reflection, he suddenly turned his head downward to look at the stick in his hand. He had used it to hit Theresa. He had been hitting the wrong person. He had been causing the wrong person pain. Ken knew who the correct person was to hurt. Himself!

It was at this point that Randy walked in. He had been angry and intended to give Ken a good talking too for hitting Theresa but when he saw Ken hitting himself… "What the juice?"

And then the vile funk came!

Ken didn't end up looking freakish or monstrous. He ended up looking handsome, non-deformed. Considering how people were supposed to look when stanked this was something completely unexpected.

The stanked, and surprisingly good looking, Ken then turned to look at Randy with an evil smile on his face. "Hello, Randy!" For some reason Randy ended up thinking about John Lithgow. A twice as hammy John Lithgow.

"Ken… Why ya lookin' like that?" Randy really was surprised. Being the Ninja seeing stanked students was common. What was uncommon was for their stanked form to look better than their true form.

Ken pointed at Randy. Nothing happened. This stanked form was really pathetic.

"Good bye, Randy!" And then Ken exited.

Randy ran after Ken… Only to collide into an invisible wall! Randy had been turned into a mime!


	7. Chapter 7

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**The New Ken!**

While Ken had imprisoned Randy in an invisible box, effectively turned him into a mime, everyone in the gym just discussed Ken's sudden mean streak. They had all been agreeing on Ken's mean streak making him a jerk then they saw the footage.

"Oh my gosh!" Heidi couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Theresa, you sound like a robot!" It was true.

Theresa just shook her head. "Forget about me! Look at Randy! He looks like he's under hypnosis." That was also true.

"Well, can't say I blame him. You and him were both acting like shoobs! Personally, I think Crazy Ken did the right thing but hitting you like he was some sort of shoob made him seem like a shoob." Clearly, Howard was in some sort of shock. He must have been since he used the word 'shoob' three times.

"A shoob am I?" Everyone turned to see a stranger that bore some passing resemblance to Ken. Of course, it was a Ken. A stanked Ken but Ken nonetheless!

Heidi's eyes widened as she recognized Ken. This was stanked Ken? He looked good! "Ken… Uh, wow… You look…"

"Yes, I know." Ken walked right past Heidi and then stood before all of the actors. "I have decided that I shall call you, ALL OF YOU, 'Bash.'" No one was happy about this, not even Bash. For Bash it was because he didn't want to share his name with anyone else. For everyone else it was sharing a name with Bash. While everyone protested Ken raised his hands and screamed "SILENCE!" Everyone stopped protesting. It wasn't Ken yelling but the fact that his face turned into something more twisted than Ken's normal face. It was hideous! "You shall all call me 'Master' or similar terms."

It's at that point that a very angry Theresa walked forward. "Alright, 'Similar Terms,' tell me where Randy is!"

Ken didn't say anything. He just walked right past Theresa. "Right, everyone! Second scene! GET TO WORK!" Ken raised his hands and everyone started to move like they were puppets on strings.

He then gave a laugh that was beyond evil! He was like a dark puppet master.


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome back everyone. I'm going to be taking a short break so I'll leave you all with a fairly comedic entry. Enjoy.**

**Grapes**

The second scene had turned out better than the first. Unfortunately, this had more to do with the stanked Ken having turned everyone into a puppet. Figuratively, not literally… Well, half of both in a way.

Everyone was taking a break not because Ken was allowing them to but because Ken seemed tired. Having made puppets out of so many people seemed to have taken a lot out of them. Someone could have destanked him but the only one who knew how was Howard and he wasn't even sure what it was that had been stanked.

Was Howard interested in playing hero? Not at the moment. He was more interested in eating grapes. As soon as he had finished eating all of the grapes and put the bowl back down on the table where it had been, Ken walked over and picked up the bowl in which the grapes had been.

"WHERE ARE MY GRAPES?" As soon as Ken yelled that, Howard left the gym. It was better off that someone else got punished. Then Ken noticed that Howard was gone. "Where is Bash?"

Of course that one simple question caused problems.

Bash, the actual Bash, pointed at himself. "I'm right here." This wasn't the Bash that Ken was talking about. Since Ken had decided to call everyone 'Bash' this caused everyone to suddenly feel like having some fun.

Heidi walked over and pointed at herself. There was a very sly grim on her beautiful face. "Do you mean me?"

Ken didn't mean Heidi but he could have. He looked at Heidi with a completely serious face and said "Yes."

Heidi's eyes widened in shock! Her sly grin vanished! "R-Really?"

"NO! I MEAN BASH!"

Again Bash Johnson answered. "I'm right here!" Bash's stupidity only caused Ken to roll his eyes. He had already indicated that he wasn't talking about that Bash by ignoring the oaf.

Theresa then walked over only for Ken to groan and walk away. There was something more entertaining about stanked Ken.


	9. Chapter 9

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy.**

**Trapped in an Invisible Box **

Howard walked into the washroom. He walked into the washroom where Randy was trapped into an invisible box. Coincidence is a funny thing, isn't it?

Of course, Howard didn't realize anything was up. He just gave a friendly "Hey, Cunningham" and walked over to a cubicle. One would have thought something up. Randy was leaning against one of the invisible box's wall and since the box was invisible it looked like he was leaning against air. Why didn't Howard notice? Actually he was probably occupied with other thoughts so it's better not to think about it.

Then Howard came out from the cubicle, only a few seconds later. He stood there starring at the strange sight of Randy leaning against air. Strange sight indeed! Howard stood there looking at Randy while Randy leaned there looking at Howard.

Randy just made a gesture with one hand. "Aren't you going to do anything, Howard?"

Howard blinked and then walked forward a bit. He was completely bamboozled! "How are you doing that?"

What did Randy do? He rolled his eyes. "An invisible box, Howard! I'm in an invisible box!"

Well, that was unexpected. How many times had Randy and Howard come upon a stanked person who could trap people inside invisible boxes?

Now that only begged the question of how was Randy to get out of the box? Randy was practically a scarecrow off his post and Howard was basically just a circle with hair. Actually, Howard had more muscle (or fat) than Randy's so he'd probably be better at toppling to box over than Randy had been. Randy had already tried to and only ended up getting himself hurt.

"Do you have the Ninja mask?" Randy then proceeded to hit his head against the wall of the invisible box. That was how he answered Howard's question. "What! Why don't you have it?"

"It's in my bag!"

"You think you would have learned after the Monster Drill."

"You know, you think I would have!" This was not a point for Randy.


	10. Chapter 10

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**98% Muscle**

Randy just stood there. Being trapped in an invisible box was boring. If he had something to entertain himself it wouldn't be so bad but he didn't so… Why did he just think about National Geographic's theme music? Was he going insane? He was going insane! He had to get out of here!

"Howard! Quick! Get me out of here!"

Howard just blinked. Why would Randy want to get out, besides the obvious of wanting to stop stanked Ken! It looked pretty comfy in that invisible box. "Right, just let me think of something…"

"Think quickly! I just thought about the National Geographic theme music!"

That bit of information just caused Howard to think harder. The National Geographic theme music? That wasn't good! "Uh, right, I'll go get help!"

"No! Don't get help!" Randy really didn't want anyone to hear about this. If anyone else were to know about this, it would be torture until the semester's end. If lovely Theresa were to know about this he'd never be able to face her again… That and she could not come into the guy's washroom. Guys went into the guys' washroom girls went into the girls' washroom. You simply did not go into the other gender's washroom it was an invasion of privacy! Of course that was all presuming Theresa was one of the people Howard would find to get help.

"Alright, I'll do things the hard way then." Howard slammed into the invisible box, knocking it down and breaking it apart completely. As Randy stood up he looked at Howard incredulously. How did he do that? "Ninety-eight percent of my bodyweight is muscle." If that was true then Howard must have been too lazy to use it most of the time.

But that wasn't important.

Randy smiled, triumphantly. Time to save the day!


	11. Chapter 11

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**Preparations**

Ken started to tense. More funk was going into him! The Sorcerer must have really wanted to get out if he was going to pump that much funk into one person. Was that dangerous to the person? Maybe but the Sorcerer didn't really care. Why should he? Ken, like anyone else who got stanked, was just a pawn and the means justified the ends.

The mere powers to use people as if they were puppets or to trap them in invisible boxes were not enough. This time, Ken would have even better powers!

As more stank went into Ken his appearance started to change. Naturally ugly he had become handsome and now he looked completely faceless. If any more funk were to go into him then who knows what he might have looked like!

Everyone couldn't help but stare in shock. A stanked person had become even more stanked. That only happened once every four years. To the people of Norrisville, it was something that was considered to be the Ninja's greatest challenge. Bizarrely, it always happened to a person who would become Principal, not necessarily of Norrisville High but just a Principal in general. They always ended up with some sort of a power that could turn whatever room they were into some sort of… Well, they were no true definition. It varied from person to person.

"This place does not come to my liking!" Ken's voice had become a reptilian hiss. No mouth but he had a voice. That made absolutely no sense. "I'll change that!" Ken raised a hand and then everything was different.

Randy and Howard had been walking to Randy's locker when they saw a flash of light come from the gym. They both stopped and looked at the gym doors. Howard quickly started back towards Randy's locker. Randy however was still looking at the door to the gym.

Should see what happened or just keep going to his locker?

"See what happened, locker, see what happened, locker, see what happened, locker… Oh, juice it!" And with that Randy walked over to the gym doors and opened them. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. "What the juice?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy.**

**What the Juice**

There was a castle in the gym. Why was there a castle in the gym? Actually where was the gym ceiling? There was nothing but black clouds! What the juice was going on here?

Randy was so confused. Since when did a stanked person have this kind of power? Unless Ken had been stanked again while already being stanked but that never happened! It was impossible!

Ah, irony.

Randy turned around to leave and get the Ninja mask only to find that the doors were gone. So much for getting the mask! He had no choice but to save the day without the mask.

"I'm dead, I'm so dead." One would think Randy would have a bit more confidence. Then again how often was he without the mask?

He walked over to the castle door. If this didn't scream old horror movie Randy wasn't sure what did!

He opened the door, not expecting anything. To Randy's surprise a wolf started howling. He stopped opening the door and the wolf stopped howling. He then started to close the door and the wolf started howling again. Open, wolf howl. Close, wolf howl. Just hold the door, no wolf howl.

This was actually pretty righteous!

Randy stopped opening and close the door and just entered the castle. What he found on the other side as a long hallway. How long was it? He couldn't see the end of it!

How was all this in the gym? This just left Randy wishing he'd never come across another stanked person like this again! Regular stanked people are fine but a stanked person like Ken would be exhausting.


	13. Chapter 13

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**The Bat**

As Randy looked walked down the hall he looked around. This placed just screamed Castle Dracula! There were vampire bats for crying out loud! Live vampire bats flying around the hall. Were these created by some stank power that Ken got?

Then there was the sound of some flapping wings. It wouldn't have meant much with the bats flying around but these wings sounded big. Pterodactyl big!

A giant bat came out of nowhere and grabbed Randy with its… talons? Claws? Randy wasn't sure what the claws on a bat's feet were called but at this point it didn't really matter.

As the bat carried Randy to who knew where, Randy couldn't help but notice something weird. Really weird! This bat bore a passing resemblance to his grandma!

"Great, I'll never be able to look at grandma the same way again!" The bat seemed to hear this and looked down at Randy. What if this was his grandma? That was unlikely but it seemed to be the only answer to the question of why this thing bore a passing resemblance to Randy. It was at this point that the bat let go of Randy causing him to… end up in a chapel? This place was insane. A bat drops him while they are in a hallway and suddenly he's in a chapel.

Randy scratched his head. There must have been no rhyme and reason to this place.

Then from the corner of his right eye, Randy noticed something. On the wall was a carving of a gorgon's face. Randy knew what a gorgon was, he had seen the "Clash of the Titans" remake. It hadn't been that good but at least it told him what a gorgon was. The original was better.

After taking a closer look, Randy noticed that the gorgon's face looked like Heidi's! First a bat that looked like his grandma, now a gorgon that looked like Heidi. What next? A hunchback looking like Bash?

This was beyond bizarre!


	14. Chapter 14

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**Heididusa**

Randy heard a rattling sound. It was like a rattlesnake rattle!

Wait!

Rattlesnake? Picture of a gorgon that looked like Heidi?

Oh no!

Randy swallowed a bit. No sword, no chainsickles, no nothing! What was he going to do? He had to do something! The only thing Randy could do was close his eyes. If he closed his eyes then he wouldn't get turned to stone.

Heidi had been stanked, she had been turned into a gorgon it was just so obvious it wasn't even funny.

If Randy looked at Heidi he was dead. If Heidi had a weapon he was dead. Either way he was dead.

Or was he? Randy thought as he closed his eyes. He didn't have the Ninja mask and thus did not have the weapons. But maybe, just maybe, he could use the skills he had learned without being the Ninja. That was an awfully big maybe!

The rattle started to get closer!

Randy let out a breath. All he had to do was stay calm. That was easier said than done. The rattling was unnerving! Randy didn't know if he could keep from staying still keep from opening his eyes and looking! If he did, then it was all over and no one would be able to keep the Sorcerer from ever escaping!

As the rattling sound got closer, Randy stood up. His eyes were still closed and the rattling was getting ever closer.

And then Randy roundhouse kicked the gorgon!

From the sound, Randy could hear something break. He just hoped it wasn't one of Heidi's bones.

Opening his eyes, Randy saw that he had hit a necklace Heidi had been wearing. He had actually never seen it before. A gift from Ken maybe?

Heidi let out a groan. "Mandy? What happened? Where am… Where are we?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Welcome back everyone. A bit of Theresa and Ken. No, not like that! Enjoy.**

**Imprisoned**

Faceless. Theresa was disgusted by the twofold stanked Ken. The lack of eyes was what caused her to be disgusted as well as other facial features. Little did she know that Ken wasn't really all there! He was imprisoned in his own head while some Hyde-like thing was in control.

Was she disgusted by Ken's appearance? Yes, but that was nothing compared to how disturbed she was. Why? Ken was apparently having an argument with himself! It seemed like that but the conversation was rather on sided. Why was it one sided? Theresa could only hear stanked Ken's voice not the voice of the true Ken.

"Shut up!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"I wasn't talking to you!" There was a lot of that going on. Then stank started to come from Ken's ears and he returned to his previous stanked form. Theresa started to wonder if he was going to revert completely but alas he did not, he quickly returned to his twofold stanked form. "Mustn't let him out!"

'Let him out?' Stanked Ken was starting to seem like a split personality. Theresa let out a breath. She knew what she had to do.

"Can he come out to talk?" Theresa's words caused Ken to place his hands over where his ears would be. No eyes, no nose, no mouth, no hair, no eyebrows, no ears this was a truly strange sight.

"No, he can't. Loop and strain, he's bound with chain!" Theresa wasn't sure but there was something wrong with that answer. That and Ken's skin was starting to look green. Now why was that?

"Can he be unchained?"

"No… Up, up! My foe has risen! To meet his doom in a plastic prison!"

Theresa closed his eyes. Was Ken's transformation to be permanent? Where was Randy? What was going on today? Why was this so different from the previous occasions where people got turned into monsters? All these questions raced through her head. Were there answers to them? If so then what were they?


	16. Chapter 16

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Back to Randy and Heidi**

Heidi couldn't believe what she was hearing. This castle was inside the gym and stanked Ken's power had created it? This was not the usual person gets turned into a monster scenario.

"Was there anyone else in here when Ken, uh, got supersized?" One simple question, that was all Randy had asked.

Heidi wasn't sure of what to say. Bash and Theresa were in here that was the extent of her knowledge. If anyone else was in here then she didn't know.

"I think just Bash and Theresa…" Heidi put a hand on her neck. "Mandy, do you think the Ninja will save us?"

Randy didn't know what to say. He was the Ninja and yet he couldn't get to the mask. He'd have to save the day without the mask but how was he going to reply without blowing his secret identity?

"Yeah, I think so."

Then they heard some extremely hammy evil laughter. It was Ken. It seemed the more stanked Ken became more hammy he became. To Randy however, there was something about this laughter. Something wrong was about it. It sounded like Nigel Thornberry from "The Wild Thornberry's."

And then stanked Ken's face came out of a wall.

Randy and Heidi just stood there. Well, this was weird… er.

"So, you defeated my gorgon! Lets see how well you fair against the later monsters!"

And then Ken's face vanished. This was perhaps the strangest scenario of a person being turned into a monster to date.

Personally, Randy was no longer surprised by what he saw since he had become the Ninja. Heidi, on the other hand, was. This was just too much!

Heidi sat down and looked at her shoes. This really was too much!

"Randy?"

Randy's eyes widened. Did she just call him by his actual name? "Yeah?"

"If you see the Ninja, tell him to go easy on Ken. Okay?"

Randy nodded. "Okay." And with that he continued through the castle.


	17. Chapter 17

**Welcome back everyone. Since the Canadian cable company Rogers has decided to show episodes that have yet to air in America, to the best of my knowledge, on the channel Disney XD on Demand I will be referencing those episodes. If you don't want any spoilers then stop reading, not that I want to lose any readers. I love my readers. If you don't mind then keep on reading! Enjoy.**

**Castle Ruins**

In a portion of the castle that was in ruins, Randy sat down to think. So much was going on. The Sorceress coming to Norrisville High under the alias of "Amanda." Randy had fought and defeated her, she swore revenge and then sometime later the Nomicon had revealed to him that the final battle with the Sorcerer was approaching.

Ken being stanked while already being stanked… What if the Sorcerer and the Sorceress were somehow able to communicate with each other? What if them working together was the cause for Ken ending up like this? What if that much stank in Ken's system ended up being fatal?

Randy had never come across a case of stanking like this. For all he knew if all that stank was to leave Ken's body it could kill him… Actually, what was the object that he had to destroy? He had seen…

Wait, when Ken had been stanked there had been a small cut on Ken's right wrist. The stank had entered the cut! That was new… That was worrying. What would Randy have to do? He really didn't want to kill Ken if that was what he'd have to do to stop him. How was he to destank a person who literally did have that vile funk in his system?

If only he had the Nomicon's help. He was just so confused. The Ninja Mask would be good too.

But he didn't. The only thing Randy could do was carry on, continue going through this place until he saved everyone. He had to save Theresa, Ken and, unfortunately, Bash.

What if this was all just one big test the universe was throwing his way to see if Randy was worthy of being the Ninja? Maybe he had to save the day without the Ninja gear and powers? Boy, he hoped so!


	18. Chapter 18

**Welcome back everyone. Gah, I used Holger talk in a non-Detentionaire fan fic in this! Kudos to you if you can find it. Enjoy and review.**

**Igor-Bash**

A new part of the castle, catacombs! The ruins had been empty, no monsters. Randy breathed in and out slowly. He had to stay calm, not knowing when a monster would appear or not. Stay calm and stay on his toes, he didn't have the Ninja mask, he didn't have the Nomicon, all he had was his own wits!

Then he heard laughing. The laugh had a thick Hungarian accent. Now, who did he know that was Hungarian? No one… This was weird.

And who should appear from out of no-where but a stanked Bash? Looking very much like the classical Igor.

So Heidi was a gorgon and Bash was a hunchback. Some sense this made. But then again Ken had stanked while already being stanked so why should this have made anysense?

"Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh!" laughed Igor-Bash. "A shoob come for the host!" A host? Either Bash was talking about Randy being Ken's "guest" or Ken was going to be possessed by the Sorcerer if that was even possible! So now he had to find Ken and save him, Theresa and whoever else was here. "You think me dumb! You think me slow! Now you see why Bash rule catacombs!" Randy had always thought if Bash were to be stanked he'd be smarter. There went that idea! It seemed Bash was even less intelligent stanked!

Randy then noticed the helmet on Bash's head. It looked like it had seen better days. Why that helmet had been a part of Bash's costume was beyond Randy, he was just thankful that it was one that could be easily broken… But he didn't have anything to break it?

It was idea-cake time!

"Oh yeah, Bash? Well, I've got a question for you! What numbers do you add together to get C?" Thank goodness Bash was an idiot, even more so in his stanked state.

One minute passed. Two minutes. Three minutes. Four minutes. Five… And then Bash let out a confused and angry roar. "Bash's head hurt!" And with that, Bash hit his head against a wall breaking the helmet and effectively destanking himself!

Thank goodness for dumb jocks.


	19. Chapter 19

**Welcome back everyone. Sorry about the short length but I just wanted to get past Bash. Enjoy and review.**

**The Stupidity of Bash Johnson**

For a few minutes, Bash stood there in a daze. Considering he had bashed his own head against the wall while stanked naturally he would be in some sort of daze.

"Uh, what happened? Last thing I remember is that shoob Ken… Uh, doing something… He… I… I don't know what happened. Where are we?"

Randy didn't know what to say. Bash was confused but then again it was Bash but Randy would be confused too. How would he tell Bash he was inside the gym still? Either he could tell him the truth or tell Bash he was dreaming. He'd buy that right?

"This is all just a dream, Bash!"

Bash stood there and blinked a bit. He then looked around. "Really? This is a dream? Must have been the double decker with chocolate sauce that did this! I don't usually have dreams like this."

"You don't say."

"Yeah!" Bash sat down and closed his eyes. "If I'm dreaming I might as well sleep!" Randy stood there nodding. As long as Bash wasn't coming with him that was okay. Randy started to walk. It was time to go after Ken again!


	20. Chapter 20

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Frustration**

Chains. Trapped in chains! The chains of his own mind!

It was like Ken had a split personality and the other side was growing stronger and stronger. How was that for torture? It was like how any other person whose stanked form could speak felt.

They were prisoners in their own mind while their darkest impulses were given a mind of their own! What was Ken's?

What indeed?

Anger? Fear? Hate? Obsession? Rage? Treachery?

The answer was none of the above. He was just frustrated and in more ways than one.

He was frustrated because of how he looked.

He was frustrated because of how is mom looked. It was from her that he gotten his hideous appearance.

He was frustrated because he had hit Theresa. Ken wasn't normally the violent sort. Why would he have hurt her? He had a soft spot for baton twirlers with them being all happy. Just seeing them happy always made him feel better. He'd never date one but seeing them happy just made him happy. Whenever he hit someone it only resulted in him hitting himself out of frustration.

Ken had his demons, his own frustration, and they had gotten a mind of their own!


	21. Chapter 21

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**The False Climax**

Randy approached the doors to a clock tower. No, not A clock tower but THE clock tower. This was where Ken was. There was no doubt about it!

In front of the doors was a generic European sword. Clearly Ken must have wanted some sort of challenge. Geez, stanked Ken was starting to act like some cliché video game villain! Randy took the sword anyway.

As he walked up the stairs of the tower, an uneasy feeling began to overcome Randy. Was Ken watching him? Was Theresa here?

That question was answered as soon as Randy reached the top. Theresa was here and she was trapped in a giant crystal. And the place had suddenly turned into some weird chamber of secrets type thing. Over to the side of the chamber was a pool of water.

"Ah, Randy! Welcome!" Randy turned and saw a faceless thing that was, of course, Stanked Ken. "I most obviously know why you're here… For your lady love Theresa, no doubt! Or am I getting too dramatic?" This was perhaps the weirdest thing Randy had ever seen. Ken's head was moving up and down and without eyes or a mouth it was hard to take seriously. Randy had a difficult time keeping a straight face. "Is that a sword you've go there? You must want to thrust it through my chest."

Randy's grip tightened on the hilt of the sword. It wasn't the chest he was going to aim for.

He thrust the sword forward to make a cut on the side of Ken's left arm!

If only.

The sword right went through Ken's chest! And yet there was no stank coming out of him. There was something strange about this. The stanked student gave an evil laugh and vanished.

This wasn't over. Not by a long shot!

Randy looked over Theresa. The crystal vanished and she had fallen to the floor unconscious.

He ran over to her and held Theresa up a bit. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"R-Randy? Is it all over?"

Randy didn't know what to say. It wasn't over yet but should he tell her that? It was best that he told the girl he had a crush on the truth. "Not yet, Theresa."


	22. Chapter 22

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Beyond Bizarre **

Out of the pool of water came a dragon! A two-legged dragon with two heads! One head was black with red eyes, the other white with blue eyes. The rest of its body was gray. Randy and Theresa looked in complete horror!

And then Ken appeared upside down while wearing a chicken mask. The looks of complete horror turned to looks of complete confusion! What was going on here? Was this place supposed to be like the inside of Ken's mind? It was the only answer!

Chicken mask Ken then started to talk. "What are ya doin' just sitting there? Fight this half-possessed version of me! If you don't I'll cease to exist and whatever did this to me will be stuck as a dragon flying around!"

Did the good, unstanked Ken just somehow speak to them? Yet he was right there sharing a body with the Sorcerer as Randy understood, Theresa was just confused out of her mind. It was like a really bad Deus Ex Machina! Why was there an unstanked Ken in a chicken mask levitating in the air and upside down no less! If Randy were still afraid of chickens he wouldn't be freaking out because he'd be so confused!

Theresa was in complete shock. She stood there with wide eyes. "What? What? WHAT?"

That must exactly have be what the reader of this story is thinking!

Could this have been a dream? Was this actually happening? Or was it just some illusion created by the stanked Ken?

Then the sound of footsteps came to Randy and Theresa's ears. They turned around and there was the stanked Ken. But if the two-headed dragon was Ken and the Sorcerer in one body then who was this? Unless that really was an illusion and this whole thing was just to drive Randy and Theresa insane!

"Randy, Theresa… How nice you two look. The brave guy come to save the damsel in distress? Well, go forth and fight that two headed monster!"

Randy just ended up grinning and Theresa confusion completely vanished. This was totally an illusion and that was the real Ken!

Randy thrust the sword forward making a small cut on the side of Ken's left arm. From that one cut more stank came out of Ken than Randy, as the Ninja or Theresa, as an innocent bystander, had ever seen.


	23. Chapter 23

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Murder**

Ken staggered for a bit. As all of the stank left his body he started to feel woozy. He then noticed the cut on his arm. What did he do? Well, he did the only logical thing to do… Except there was nothing logical about it!

"Murder!" He screamed! Yes, Ken was screaming at the top of his lungs. He sounded like a dying moose. It was at that point that he saw Randy and Theresa standing before him in the gym. Heidi and Bash had started walking over to him.

The sword Randy had been wielding has vanished along with the castle and other oddities. Theresa wasn't sure of what to say. Neither was Randy. It seemed like Ken was going insane.

Heidi just put a hand on Ken's right shoulder. "Ken, honey, are you okay?" Her speaking in a slow voice like Ken was losing his mind was not helping.

"Heidi, look at my arm! The one with the cut on it! My arm with the cut on it! My left arm with the cut on it!"

"But you've only got two arms!" Leave it to Bash to state the obvious. Even he must have been aware of how redundant Ken was being.

And then Ken got really dramatic. "Oh, I feel so faint! My death is upon me! Of course being as ugly as I am, I would die this young. O woe is me!" What a hambone!

Randy couldn't help but look at Theresa and whisper: "Is he teaching us how to act?"

Theresa just shook her head. "Can't be! He's too hammy to be acting!"

That only caused both to snicker. As funny as Ken was being with him Brian Blessed-esque hamminess, they actually did feel sorry for him. The first time he had been stanked he ended up with it in his bloodstream! There couldn't have been a worst way to be stanked!


	24. Chapter 24

**Welcome back everyone. A bit of heads up but there is a poll of what you want there to be in my next Randy Cunningham to have on my profile. There are two choices "Killer chimps in Norrisville" and "A Dragon doing battle with a Yeti in some 'King Kong vs. Godzilla' type thing." You the people, my readers decide so go and vote! Enjoy!**

**Creator Breakdown**

After that bout of hysteria, Ken could not direct. He just ended up taking a seat and staring into space. And then he kept muttering "Its all my fault" over and over again.

Ken's little breakdown caused Heidi to take over directing. Surprisingly it was quite an improvement over Ken's directing.

Everything went smoothly! No flubs or anything!

By the end of the day, they reached the final scene. What was the final scene? The kiss between Kenneth Baker and Mary Mac!

Everyone ended up positioning themselves so Ken would see the scene. Considering that he was staring into space, it was a good idea.

Randy and Theresa recited their lines and they kissed. It caused a warm feeling in both of their hearts. This time, Randy would not say "You smell like rainbows." If he had, she'd probably figure out he was the Ninja but then again they were kissing so there would be no talking.

Sure enough Ken saw this and he stopped muttering "It's all my fault." A smile appeared on his face and he clapped his hands when the filming was cut.

**The End**


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